Friday, February 25, 2011

Can I be Mrs Darcy??

Really, one of the best ever movies I've ever seen, Pride and Prejudice.... It'll still be the best in my entire life. I just love it. I've watched over and over again and I've never felt it's boring. It's just so cool. Mr Darcy does everything for Lizzie's sake. Everything is for her and he keeps it as a secret and it's just too much. He helps Lizzie too much. Owh, so romantic. I would love to have someone like him, really. Someone who willings to sacrifice everything of his for me, for my happiness. Owh, I really want someone like him. If I could, I will be the happiest and luckiest woman on the earth.

Hmm, my ideal man.... That's interesting. What exactly that I really want from my companion? What are the qualities that he should have?? For me, it's just simple. Someone who willingly loves me with all his heart without judging me from my look, my wealth, my education, my all the-physical appearances.... But look at me as a woman who is special and I really hope that he could bring me, lead me to a better way of life as a Muslim. Guide me, save me, take me together with him to get His blessings in both the world and hereafter. For now, I admit my mistake. I always look at people based only on his appearance not the quality in it. But I know, one day, I will meet him and I will accept him whoever he is. I will accept him though he is not that handsome because I know everyone is not perfect and so do I. I will accept him if he is not that rich as long as he could manage to support me and the family, able to feed us, able to provide us home.....I don't mind if I don't get the wealth in the world as long as InsyaAllah, I will get the wealth there, The Akhirat. I will not mind if he just working not as an engineer, doctor or businessman, as long as he gains his money from the right way and it is that I could live in His Rahmat together with my partner as well as, InsyaAllah, my children. I will truly love him and never betray. I will treat him as a special man in my life and I will place him in a very special spot in my heart. However, I will not place him above Allah's place and his companion, Rasulullah. I will love him because of his religion. I will love him because of his faith towards Islam. Insyaallah, I will love him forever, until my last breath.

Fuhh, what a serious tone, serious story. Tett.....I'm still young by the way. I don't have so much time to think about that. Couple?? I really hope I don't have to do that. Hopefully. It is something sweet but on the other side it is painful and hurting as well. So, if I could, I don't want to have couple. Maybe some people will have their opinion on this couple thing and so do I. We should respect people's opinions right? As simple as that.

Nothing much to say actually today. I just feel that it is fun to start writing again. Although my grammar is all over, but I hope I could improve. My major problem now is speaking, and yes of course all the other skills like writing, listening and reading as well. But speaking really creeps me out. It is so horrible that I think I am not deserve to be here. Someone helps me, please.... I have no courage to speak especially in front of many people. How can I be a good teacher then? This frightens me. I know if I only I could speak well, I will not be in this stage, where I feel so low self-esteem, shy to ask, shy to speak, all the negative things. What should I do? I don't want to waste my time here without learning how to speak well. If I didn't do it, I'm the foolish man ever. I pray to God that I could be competent in English, I really hope that. InsyaAllah....Please grant my wishes, O Allah.

Hope to see you all again in next entry...Bye2!! Assalamualaikum...... ^_^

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