Saturday, February 26, 2011

Watashiwa Aya-san desu...

Again, another drama tonight. This time it is Japanese drama, 1 litre of tears. Tears, really, this drama is all about tears. And I can't stop crying, it is just too touched and sad that I can't control myself. I keep imagine if I were in Aya's shoes. How could I be like her? Am I be able to endure it? Am I be able to keep smiling? Am I be able to not really think of those eyes that look at me heartlessly? Am I be able to not make my parents, my family sad as well? Am I?? I don't think so. Because I know who I am. I'm not that gentle, I'm not that strong. I knew it. When I was diagnosed with Tuberculosis (TB), I always mad at people. I always sighing, I always and never be thankful that at least the disease can be cured. I always feel dissatisfaction of myself. I hate myself all the time. I hate when people keeps distant with me, they were like going further from me. I.... and the lists go on, all those negative things. I'll never be like aya and I am proud of her. She was really a strong woman who has the strongest soul, strongest heart. This drama teaches ma a lot. A lot of life lessons, how to be patient, strong, kind to others, tolerate, humble, honest...everything. Thanks Aya for that. From her, I learn something useful. Arigato....
This drama is actually based on the true story of Aya, and she was the real Aya...

And these are the stars in the drama.... 1 litre of tears..... Aishiteru... They acted soooo real!

I wish I could be like her one day.....So that when I'm gone, everybody will remember me from how I look at the world, how I react about everything. And I hope that I can give lessons to others too. Hopefully, InsyaAllah. Got to go. Bye2!! Assalamualaikum..... ^_^

Friday, February 25, 2011

Can I be Mrs Darcy??

Really, one of the best ever movies I've ever seen, Pride and Prejudice.... It'll still be the best in my entire life. I just love it. I've watched over and over again and I've never felt it's boring. It's just so cool. Mr Darcy does everything for Lizzie's sake. Everything is for her and he keeps it as a secret and it's just too much. He helps Lizzie too much. Owh, so romantic. I would love to have someone like him, really. Someone who willings to sacrifice everything of his for me, for my happiness. Owh, I really want someone like him. If I could, I will be the happiest and luckiest woman on the earth.

Hmm, my ideal man.... That's interesting. What exactly that I really want from my companion? What are the qualities that he should have?? For me, it's just simple. Someone who willingly loves me with all his heart without judging me from my look, my wealth, my education, my all the-physical appearances.... But look at me as a woman who is special and I really hope that he could bring me, lead me to a better way of life as a Muslim. Guide me, save me, take me together with him to get His blessings in both the world and hereafter. For now, I admit my mistake. I always look at people based only on his appearance not the quality in it. But I know, one day, I will meet him and I will accept him whoever he is. I will accept him though he is not that handsome because I know everyone is not perfect and so do I. I will accept him if he is not that rich as long as he could manage to support me and the family, able to feed us, able to provide us home.....I don't mind if I don't get the wealth in the world as long as InsyaAllah, I will get the wealth there, The Akhirat. I will not mind if he just working not as an engineer, doctor or businessman, as long as he gains his money from the right way and it is that I could live in His Rahmat together with my partner as well as, InsyaAllah, my children. I will truly love him and never betray. I will treat him as a special man in my life and I will place him in a very special spot in my heart. However, I will not place him above Allah's place and his companion, Rasulullah. I will love him because of his religion. I will love him because of his faith towards Islam. Insyaallah, I will love him forever, until my last breath.

Fuhh, what a serious tone, serious story. Tett.....I'm still young by the way. I don't have so much time to think about that. Couple?? I really hope I don't have to do that. Hopefully. It is something sweet but on the other side it is painful and hurting as well. So, if I could, I don't want to have couple. Maybe some people will have their opinion on this couple thing and so do I. We should respect people's opinions right? As simple as that.

Nothing much to say actually today. I just feel that it is fun to start writing again. Although my grammar is all over, but I hope I could improve. My major problem now is speaking, and yes of course all the other skills like writing, listening and reading as well. But speaking really creeps me out. It is so horrible that I think I am not deserve to be here. Someone helps me, please.... I have no courage to speak especially in front of many people. How can I be a good teacher then? This frightens me. I know if I only I could speak well, I will not be in this stage, where I feel so low self-esteem, shy to ask, shy to speak, all the negative things. What should I do? I don't want to waste my time here without learning how to speak well. If I didn't do it, I'm the foolish man ever. I pray to God that I could be competent in English, I really hope that. InsyaAllah....Please grant my wishes, O Allah.

Hope to see you all again in next entry...Bye2!! Assalamualaikum...... ^_^

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Long time no see!!!

Hi there readers!! Seems like it's quite a long time I haven't written anything in my blog. I don't know, maybe I'm just purposely abandon u my blog, my bad....sorry, mianhae....

So, what shall i talk about in this entry?? Our glorious Malaysian Night 2011 (Mnight) had already passed and all of us did it very very well. Everyone contributed, it was a blessing....Alhamdulillah....The, followed by assignments, my life seems like filled with loads of works...ececeh....hehe...Is that an excuse Ira?? Haishh, it's not good okay...Hmm, now I'm watching Changmin's drama, Paradise Ranch, 파라다이스 목장 . It is so indescribable...I don't know, I just like it. Although the rating is not that high as compared to Sungkyunkwan Scandal or Dream High, I still think that this drama is worthed watching. Changmin has grown up a lot. He is matured, man. Beautiful, sexy, good shape, fair complexion...he is just nearly perfect...wah, I'm in love....Sorry Yoochun, only for a while okay. I wanna love him again like before, just for a while.....It's actually a drama about a divorced couple who accidentally reunite in Jeju Island (due to some business reasons, of course). Da Ji, the heroin, has already fell in love with another ahjusshi, Yun Ho and he is quite handsome..(but uri Changmin is much much more handsome...hehe). And the story goes on.............. Now, it seems like Changmin still loves Da Ji and he is really concerned about her, about her feeling, about her relationship. Although he remind Da Ji not to mind each other's private life over and over again, yet, he is the one who still interferes Da Ji's life..Isn't that cute???? Hehe.... Here are some pictures of them in the drama....

By the way, the song for my blog is actually one of the official soundtrack (OST) of this drama....Have you listened to it?? Is it nice?? I really love it. It is a song by Yesung from Super Junior. His voice is so heart-melting, so touching and nearly makes me cry each time I listen to it. I definitely can't wait for the progression of this story. Go Han Dong Joo!! Go Lee Da Ji!! Chngmin-ah, SARANGHAEYO!! Ok then, c ya in the next entry!!!